Thriller in the style of Agatha Christie that could be better.

Acceptable blockbuster.

A fine cast, but someone forgot to bring the funny.

Dumb action fantasy. +25% for how straight everyone tries to play the inherent camp.

Professionally made shock and awful.

Vapid, spurious 90s clubbing pic.

Rob Zombie for the pop culture completionist.

I don’t like that movies are getting made for Dr. Seuss books, but this one is ok.