{"id":705,"date":"2015-02-02T20:58:26","date_gmt":"2015-02-02T20:58:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/?p=705"},"modified":"2015-02-02T20:58:26","modified_gmt":"2015-02-02T20:58:26","slug":"beastly-2011-0","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/?p=705","title":{"rendered":"Beastly (2011) 0%"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’d like to thank this movie for teaching me the following valuable lesson: As long as you are 6’2″, cut like a boxer, and have a wealthy parent who provides you with your own penthouse apartment, full-time housekeeper and tutor who will cater to your every whim, you can overcome the horrible misfortune of having some ornate tattoos. Also, as long as you build a gazebo on your roof, you can win the girl of your dreams by stalking her for a few months before eventually kidnapping her and holding her hostage in your apartment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’d like to thank this movie for teaching me the following valuable lesson: As long as you are 6’2″, cut like a boxer, and have a wealthy parent who provides you with your own penthouse apartment, full-time housekeeper and tutor who will cater to your every whim, you can overcome the horrible misfortune of having […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2],"class_list":["post-705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-movie-review"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=705"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":706,"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions\/706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jnizmo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}